Director of Corruptive Affairs
The Office of
As per our legal
contract, it is in my duty to present to you a letter of
While working for
the Office of Non-Compliance Association, I realized
being punctual, never absent, well groomed, easy going,
and just being a proficient employee holds no importance to
you. I know this because in my first month, it was
very evident when you called me in your office and
recommend I wear "makeup" because I'm a woman. Well anyway, everyone
in the office knows you secretly wear "makeup" among
other things yourself. I hope for your sake your
equally pretentious superficial wife doesn't find out.
Also, I can
honestly say I'm ecstatic about leaving this company.
Watching you bounce and parade around the office
pretending to know what you were doing was more
nauseating than my stomach could bear. I have never
worked anywhere before that made me check my mail
everyday hoping for jury duty, or waking up every
morning in hopes of finding pink eye or
chicken pox in the mirror. Furthermore, we all know this
company will be sold to new CEO's this year. You
will in fact be out of a job very shortly. Not only
because of your political ties, but mainly because of
your inadequacy and idiotic incompetence. Especially
when you go in front of the monthly committee to answer
simple questions you don't seem to have the intellectual
capacity to comprehend much less respond with.
I really pity you
as a Director. You should have been paying more
attention to your work statistics, weekly reports and
your unethical staff. Instead you were busy instigating
corruption in your office, as well as focusing on why I
don't want to wear makeup. Now, l really don't
expect you to give me a perverse recommendation when my
future job inquiries call you. Also, don't even
make attempts on framing me up on any of your illegal on
goings in the office out of spite. Just in case, I will have my
attorney call you periodically to test you on your
already failed integrity. Keep in mind it's illegal if
you do any of the above or threaten bodily harm. If you
slip up, I can press charges or civilly sue you.
However, being you won't have any financial assets by then, due
to that investigation that's being held against you.
You may resort to using that
same "make-up" theory while you're sitting in prison.
The best worker
you would have ever had...