Ms. C. Crooke

Staff Incompetence Manager

The Office of Non-Compliance

Re:  Resignation Letter

Dear Ms. Crooke,

Let me first start by saying, I have always admired how your professional demeanor in the office ironically correlates with your surname.  Being said, I would have given you 2 weeks resignation notice.  However,  I have watched you over the years immediately terminate employees after they give you their dutiful 2 weeks resignation notice. Therefore, it gives me great pleasure to present this resignation letter to you effective immediately.

You have always said I should be more proactive and take more initiative, so I'm sure you won't mind me taking this initiative and beating you to the punch. How I see it, I'm saving you the trouble of thinking up of some devious accusation to terminate my employment and tarnishing my good name in this unethical  corporate world.  Now, I don't expect you to care about my well being because you don't even care about your own children or your husband. That's why you spend most of  your time in your office after hours pretending to do the company's work.

By the way, I just know after you read the first paragraph, your little evil micro-managing calculating brain had already thought up of a devious plan to spite me with.  Keep in mind, I don't need you at this point for a letter of recommendation.  Your secretary, who is seeing your husband behind your back has already taken care of that for me.  You should have paid more attention to all the documents your secretary made you sign in the past week. Your husband filed for divorce weeks ago unknown to you and your secretary made you sign your divorce papers. She also made you sign over all your rights to your house, children, money and other assets. Well, I bid you farewell and I hope you found this letter as amusing as everyone else in the office did.

Sincerely,

...On to a better tomorrow

Cc: The entire office staff.