Ralph N. Barbara
The Office of
Dear Ralph N. Barbara,
I am sure you are
wondering why I'm addressing this resignation letter
to you, being you are not management nor my supervisor.
Truth be told, I am extremely confident this letter will get expedited to management
through your part. You have done such an astounding job on
reporting everything else to them in the past, this too will
I would like to think you
are also in shock and disturbed that I'm leaving this company.
No more will there be a push over like me to complete your
work assignments when you're on 3 hour lunches, brown
nosing, surfing the internet and maliciously stirring up
chaos among everyone in the office. Also, when you
come in late to work with your self
inflicted personal problems, I will no longer be here for you to
verbally abuse. You will have to find someone else to publicly humiliate, spread
vicious rumors on, elbow in the hallway, make up names
for, lie on, and steal credit from on a daily basis.
I feel extremely guilty
leaving you holding the bag, especially after I've written
numerous unreciprocated letters to management about your
heinous office deeds. So now, I would like to thank you for
encouraging me on making this desperate life altering
decision. I'm now leaving my 65k annual job with this company to
becoming a parking lot attendant where you can't find me.
Thanks to you I have gained a tremendous array of newly
found skills that I can now claim under my professional
belt. For example, my new expertise consist of cooping with
my recently diagnosed depression disorder, stomach ulcers,
nightmares, blood curling migraines and my diminished
relationship with family and friends.
But remember Ralph N.
Barbara, things might not be so bad now that I'm gone. The
next individual you appoint to take my place might be quite
proficient with eliminating you of your life's misery for all eternity. I really wish this for you,
Ralph N. Barbara.
Your office victim...