The Office of

Non-Compliance Association




 Informant Specialist  I   (Unclassified position)


This is a new unclassified position that will be replacing the former unclassified position of  "Office news carrier".


Duties as follows


-          Transmit solicited and unsolicited information about daily office on-goings to management.

-          Inconspicuously obtain and if needed, distort pertinent information that would harm the reputations

           of other colleagues.

-          Keep account of all colleagues regarding punctuality, restroom visits, internet surfing, personal

           phone calls and any other illegitimate factors that can be reported to management.

-          Befriend and interrogate new office employees.

-          Initiate and maintain office distrust among employees, management and staff.

-          Work in hand with the office janitor/custodial worker. This individual usually has expertise in

           performing these exact duties as well. They will stand in for you when you're out of the office.

-          Perform other related duties and task as assigned by encouraging management.




-          Perfect hearing and perfect peripheral vision

-          Trilingual and Pig Latin speakers preferred.

-          Keen ability to distort facts and embellish fiction.

-          Unhappiness and dissatisfaction with personal life.

-          Unrewarding childhood.

-          Deep inferiority complex.

-          Ability to grin with teeth and pass it off as a smile.


Educational Requirements


-          B.S. Degree in envy

-          PhD. in gossiping


Benefit packages


None. This is an unclassified and exempt position only. If you meet most of the qualifications and requirements needed, this would be a pleasurable and self-fulfilling position for you regardless. However, depending on which participating management you choose to supply, you may in fact be able to receive minor insignificant fringe benefits until management no longer has use for your services.


Note: There are no official records of this position in the company’s Human Resources office. If you feel you meet the qualifications and you would like to apply, interviews will be accepted on a daily basis by management until further notice on legitimizing this position.




The Office of Non-Compliance Association - Office Humor 2006


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Disclaimer:  All humor material and web graphics belongs to and is prohibited to be used on any other website or email transaction, a link would be greater  appreciated. This is a fictional Company. None of the above job descriptions or characters may reflect actual persons or any actual company in existence. This website was created out of fun and amusement.  Thank you.