a new unclassified position that will be replacing the former unclassified
position of "Office news carrier".
Duties as follows
-Transmit solicited and
unsolicited information about daily office on-goings to management.
-Inconspicuously obtain and if
needed, distort pertinent information that would harm the reputations
-Keep account of all
colleagues regarding punctuality, restroom visits, internet surfing, personal
phone calls and
any other illegitimate factors that can be reported to management.
-Befriend and interrogate new
-Initiate and maintain office
distrust among employees, management and staff.
- Work in
hand with the office janitor/custodial worker. This individual usually has
performing these exact duties as well. They will stand in for you when you're
out of the office.
-Perform other related duties
and task as assigned by encouraging management.
-Perfect hearing and perfect
-Trilingual and Pig Latin
-Keen ability to distort facts
and embellish fiction.
dissatisfaction with personal life.
-Deep inferiority complex.
-Ability to grin with teeth
and pass it off as a smile.
-B.S. Degree in envy
-PhD. in gossiping
None. This is an unclassified and exempt position
only. If you meet most of the qualifications and requirements needed, this would
be a pleasurable and self-fulfilling position for you regardless. However,
depending on which participating management you choose to supply, you may in
fact be able to receive minor insignificant fringe benefits until management no
longer has use for your services.
There are no official records of this position in the company’s Human Resources
office. If you feel you meet the qualifications and you would like to apply,
interviews will be accepted on a daily basis by management until further notice
on legitimizing this position.
All humor material and
web graphics belongs to
prohibited to be used on
any other website or
email transaction, a
link would be greater
appreciated. This is a
fictional Company. None
of the above job
characters may reflect
actual persons or any
actual company in
existence. This website
was created out of fun