The Office of

Non-Compliance Association

Office Humor and Satire

www.OfficeMisery.com

 

 

 

 Office Coercion Administrator IV  

 

This classified position will be replacing the former unclassified position of the  "Work place bully".

 

Duties as follows

 

-      Observe and evaluate all your colleagues and choose one or two to be your victim/s.

             (Choosing one is recommended, preferably a new employee who seems to be liked by

             others in the office and who would more likely become irreplaceable and more proficient

             than you). 

-      Make obvious attempts to intimidate your victim with circuitous name-calling, personal insults and office file tampering which would implicate him or her as being negligent.

-      Progressively induce provocation on your victim with removing or knocking items off their desk, bumping into them in hallways, restricting their exits out of rooms and threats of more violence in or out the work area.

-      Must also be able to work overtime if you spot your victim outside the office, after work or on weekends.

-      If your victim reports you, quickly construct an alter frame-up scenario which would implicate your victim (missing funds, missing files, breach of confidentiality etc).  This would distract the negative attention your victim brought on you while damaging their credibility. Use outside forces if necessary.

-      Always maintain work objective, which is to lead the victim to ultimate termination and therapy.

 

 Qualifications 

 

-        Experience as a schoolyard bully or tormenting others from childhood.

-        Must be belligerent, argumentative and conniving.

-        Ability to create manifestations in your mind that your victim is the one out to get you.

-        Must have the talent to persuade others by telling them your victim  is crazy and imaging things.

-        Insecurity and unsure feelings about your value within the company is also a plus.

-        Unhappiness and dissatisfaction with personal life, personal appearance, childhood and marriage.

-        Financial assets incase your victim decides to sue you personally and rightfully win.

 

Educational Requirements

 

-          A. A. Degree  ( Agitating Antagonist )

 

Benefit packages

 

In the event your victim sues the company for incompetence and employment negligence, you will not be financially responsible in most cases. In fact the company will secretly settle with your victim out of court for little to nothing and grant you a promotion to hide the guilt as if nothing happened. This is done in case any of your past victims want to come forward and pursuit a court case as well.

 

   

 

Disclaimer

The Office of Non-Compliance Association - Office Humor

www.officemisery.com 2006

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Disclaimer:  All humor material and web graphics belongs to www.officemisery.com and is prohibited to be used on any other website or email transaction, a link would be greater  appreciated. This is a fictional Company. None of the above job descriptions or characters may reflect actual persons or any actual company in existence. This website was created out of fun and amusement.  Thank you.