Employment Application

Office Humor and Satire 

( A non equal opportunity employer)

Name (example: Bob D. Loser)

Contact Information 

Name of the positions you are applying for        

(Informant Specialist I,   Office Coercion Administrator IV,   Staff Incompetence Manager,  Director of Corruptive Affairs)

 

Race: White  Black  Hisp./Latin/black  Hisp./Latin/white Asian  Nat. American Pacific isl.Other (denial)

This is optional. (However, if you leave it blank we will know for sure you're not white)

 

Gender:  Male   Female   Previously Male  Previously Female

 

Job Questionnaire:

Are you a single parent? Yes No

Are the kids in good health?

Yes

No

           
1. Are you willing to work overtime without pay? Yes No
2. Do you think pay raises and bonuses are that important? Yes No
3. Do you plan to use workers comp. or unemployment insurance if needed? Yes No
4. Do you expect to receive Health Insurance? Yes No
5. Do you think Sexual Harassment & Office Bullies are really big issues? Yes No
6. Do you believe in taking a lunch hour or 60 minute breaks? Yes No
7. If you were to embezzle company funds, do you think taking $50.00 would be less noticeable than taking $500,000? Yes No
8. Do you think annual and sick leave should be used? Yes No
9. Do you enjoy office parties? Yes No
     

11. If you were fired from your previous job, please explain why in detail below. (This way we can know what type of excuses to use when we choose to terminate your employment as well).

12. Tell us what you think about gay people.

13. Tell us your views on "Race Supremacy" or Affirmative Action.

 

Thank you for your interest in our company. Your application will be reviewed in an untimely manner and we will get back to you at our latest convenience. By the time you receive a response to this submission (If you get one at all ), you will more than likely forget you even applied to our company. Thank you again.

 

 

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The Office of Non-Compliance Association - Office Humor

www.officemisery.com 2006

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